strawhat515

This week, being all by myself in my home gave me time to think a lot of things. I was able to comprehend some things that normally I would never have thought of. I was able to see inside myself. I was able to see the wounds that reside in there. I also was able to see the parts inside of me that aren't wounded. I was able to see a little peace in my heart. Peace because I did everything in my power to protect everything that was precious to me. I lost, yet, I won a lot. I gained the experience of being able to sacrifice it all for the sake of something precious. I was able to put my pain aside for a little bit so I could rise from the ashes

Almost every night I wake up having horrible nightmares. Having hurtful memories and unnecessary tears. Why do they keep coming back? Why I can't simply forget? Why I can't move straight forward 100% all the time? Why is my heart closed shut? I have to deal with this all the time. I have to do this alone. Nobody actually understands the pain inside my heart and soul. They always judge me saying things because of my actions, when they never even got inside my shoes in the first place. The very same people who judge me, are the very same people who aren't there at the moments I am most broken. Those are the moments I am less myself and more li

Confused... Sad... Lonely... Those are the mixed emotions I currently feel. Every thing I do or try to do, ends wrong. Everything I consider important in my life ends broken or hurt. I actually try to become a better person each and ever day, but I end making the same mistakes over and over again. I try to fix my own problems and feelings on my own, just to notice that I actually can't do it on my own... I try to be a better person for you, but you act sometimes like you don't even care of what I do; like it means nothing at all. Sometimes I understand you, sometimes I really don't, mostly because you don't show your true feelings at the tim